That’s not funny.
On Balloon Boy and the RU Game Plan: This is Your University on Crack
I know, you’re thinking, what hair-brained connection are you going to propose next? But, bear with me while I trace the arc of the boyless balloon sailing over the open plain and a fiscal plan that rounded out the oval of the RU football stadium, complete with the biggest hi-def scoreboard, per seating capacity, in any college stadium. I’ll admit that I wasn’t there for the whole balloon boy saga. I caught the first feed about it while I was changing planes and by the time I landed it was already into the third act. (The...
read moreA Critical Intervention in Death Studies
The following is not exactly an obit for the humanities, but rather evidence that the humanities died long ago and now walk the earth, haggard and decaying, accompanied by the sound of the swarming buzz and hum of the undead. It’s a call for papers for a conference on “Sex, Death, and Boredom”–in just that order, as one would expect from the undead. (First comes sex, then comes death, then comes boredom in the baby carriage.) Sex, Death, and Boredom This year’s one-day conference . . . asks presenters to engage the...
read moreRichard starts to fill out the form for the Institutional Review Board
1. Does this activity involve research*? Now, this is a good question. As you can see by the asterisk, the definition of research appears to require further specification or qualification. Funny thing is, though, there’s no other asterisk on the form. So, really, this is just research getting all twinkly, like a Christmas tree, as Rainman would say. 2. Do the individuals that will participate in this activity meet the definition of human subjects*? To which the only possible answer I can come up with is: They don’t not fit language...
read moreOnce More Unto the Breach! The MLA Writes A Letter of Protest
The Death of the Humanities, Act five, Scene four: Action! Messenger enters stage left, exasperated: “How can you still be still there, typing? The barbarians are at the gates. Can you not hear their fury? The rattling of the chains?” The professor looks up, surprised. “But I am fighting, can’t you see? I’m here, in my office, writing a letter to SUNY’s President right now. “A letter?” “Yes. And it’s a killer, if I do say so myself. It has literally dozens of signatures from leading...
read moreHow to Tell if You’re Receiving 1.0 Support
What’s the difference between the one-point-oh world and the two-point-oh world? Here’s a picture of Tech Support in the 1.0 universe: Earth = Tech Support; End-Users = Saturn At the center of this universe is Tech Support. Everything in the system revolves around its–literally–unmoving center. If you require support in this universe, you do your best to relay a message in from Saturn but, given the distance from the center of the universe and the leisurely pace of light waves, it does take a while for the message to...
read moreThirteen Ways of Looking at a Football Stadium
A visual exploration of how the place of physical education at the university has changed over the past two hundred years. What does taking the bird’s eye view allow us to see? Is anything to be gained by treating a football stadium as the subject of poetry? Let me know what you think. I Nothing moves.Not even the eye of the blackbird. Queen’s College, established in 1766, middle right. II Three squares.I am of three minds:sleep, learn, lead. Rutgers College, 1842 III An open fieldmake it up as you go Rutgers...
read moreWell Endowed By Our Creator: Did George Washington Really Invent Viagra?
A special guest editorial by text2cloud’s newest staff member: H. Paunch. Which is it: Presidents Day (no apostrophe) Presidents’ Day (“s” apostrophe) or President’s Day (apostrophe “s”)? Some might argue for Presidents Day (option number one) on the grounds that the day is meant to recognize all the presidents. Others–sticklers for the facts we might call them–will argue for Presidents’ Day (option number two), pointing out that the national holiday for recognizing the birth...
read moreHORTON HEARS A THAT!
Poet Tracy K. Smith will read from her works, which includes the 2012 Pulitzer Prize-winner Life on Mars, a collection of poems about her father, an engineer that worked on the Hubble Space Telescope. Logging in with an email address Any users that log into Sakai with their full email address rather than a Rutgers NetID should use the Guest Login button. With blogs having become largely moneymaking enterprises, it’s sometimes too easy to forget that they have roots as personal sites. DailyNotes by Elegant Themes takes the reader back to...
read moreInterview with H. Paunch
Interviewer: I really enjoyed your last piece, “Well Endowed By Our Creator: Did George Washington Really Invent Viagra?” It got me thinking about how people use the phrase “our Founding Fathers” as shorthand for “I don’t like the present. Take me back to the past, as long as the past has plumbing, central heating, and cars.” H. Paunch: Are you talking about me? Interviewer: Our readers would like to know a little more about you. You’re working on a project called “Rewriting...
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